Hints on a first time garden

Seniors at Large Column: Take a yard full of assorted size rocks and boulders

The anatomy of a garden by a ‘sometimes’ gardener.

If these words of wisdom don’t make you feel better about your inevitable demise, then you’re pretty well hopeless.  Because this is from an oldtime, bona fide mixer of water, dirt, and fertilizer (that yucky looking brown stuff splattered all over a cow’s eating place and free for the taking).

My mother used to tell me to “look on the bright side of a problem”;  it didn’t always work, but was always worth a try.  I mean, ‘what the heck’, maybe your late Uncle Hector, who was a famous prizefighter, left you an extra set of muscles to help you through your advancing years (known in car lingo as ‘ping’ years).

Anyways, back to the plan for your next gardening attempt.  Number one; take a yard, full of assorted size rocks and boulders.  Don’t get greedy for a ‘first time’ garden, because those rocks are heavy.  Lay down over them a mulch of sorts – like paper grocery bags if you’re a big eater (or newspaper).  Then lay down an appropriate amount of dirt.  Over the dirt, lay easy to grow seeds such as cucumbers, tomatoes, and onions; and ‘walk’ them into the ground.  If you have any room left in your garden, sew a few seeds of genus ‘Everlasting’, because that’s the last time it’s going to grow.