Survey shows daughters more likely to take care of parents

A B.C. woman shares struggle of taking care of aging mother

Given the choice between a successful career or being a loyal caregiver to her mother, Marinella Berretti was lucky to find a way to do both.

While working as an administrative assistant at Falcon Engineering, Berretti’s mother, Maruska, 84 has been in and out of the hospital since December, with broken bones, ischaemic colitis and is now back in hospital with pneumonia.

“It’s very hard when you are the only caregiver— I am the only sibling here in Kelowna,” said Berretti, who has siblings in Edmonton and Toronto. “She’s my mother I want to do what is best for her.”

The stress to balance her time at work, while ensuring her mother receives proper treatment in an assisted living home feels like a full time job for Berretti.

Related: B.C. senior care improving, but most far below staffing target

The assisted living homes her mother has lived in have treated her well but, with staff being “spread so thin” her mother was seeing a different doctor almost every day, medications and treatment recommendations would vary.

“One (doctor) would say put her on oxygen, and then two days later she would be told to go off it by another,” Berretti said.

To ensure her mother was getting the proper care, Berretti started ensuring she was able to check in the the doctors regularly which crept into her work hours.

“I would try to work with the doctors to meet with them on my lunch hours but it wasn’t working, so I had to talk to my employer. They are so supportive, but it’s really stressful. I feel like even though they are okay with me leaving to talk to the doctors and help her I feel that I am taking too much,” Berretti said.

Turning to the Home Instead Senior Care once she was able to bring her mother home from the hospital has been “a God send” along with the help of her boss.

Related: B.C. VIEWS: Who will care for frail elderly?

“It is so hard to juggle and without the support I am getting it would have been a lot harder, I am quite lucky that I have a good company and employer that cares about me,” Berretti said.

Home Instead sees daughters with young families of their own to take care of, becoming the sole caregiver of their aging parents. After conducting a survey, amongst female caregivers between the ages of 45 and 60 in the U.S and Canada, Home Instead found that 91 per cent of female caregivers have had make professional sacrifices to take on the responsibility of caring for their parents.

“Half of the women surveyed felt they had to choose between being a good employee or a good daughter,” read the findings.

Berretti was lucky however to have an employer that is so understanding. Home Instead takes care of their clients either by hourly or daily rates

Related: Changing philosophies for seniors’ care

“We provide a little bit of a light at the end of the tunnel for women like Marinella, because it is a 24/7 job, there is no relief to it and it is very frustrating for them,” Don Henke, franchise owner of Home Instead said. “Daughters end up taking care of their parents more than sons, it has generally been the role. It shouldn’t be that way but it’s a gender role that has been a reality. Lots of men are involved but not to the extent where the daughters are.”

Human life expectancy rising along with medical advances people are living six years longer than they would have before 1981 according to Statistics Canada, most people now live well beyond the age of 75.

The Daughters in the Workplace public education program is available at www.caregiverstress.com/stress-management/daughters-in-the-workplace/

To report a typo, email:
newstips@kelownacapnews.com
.


@sydneyrmorton
sydney.morton@kelownacapnews.com

Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.

Just Posted

Chinook Cove ladies’ golf’s final swings of the season

The season concluded with a championship and a hole-in-one

BC Ag Expo welcomes the Canadian Cashmere Producers Association

Fleece judging will take place September 23

Al Fortin is running for council in Barriere

Question: What made you want to run for councillor again? A: “Actually… Continue reading

Barriere residents walked, ran and rode for its annual Terry Fox Run

‘Well Terry Fox is a Canadian hero. He’s a hero to our family’

Chinook golf club championship

The Chinook Cove Golf club held its club championship on Sunday, Sept.… Continue reading

Fashion Fridays: Rock some animal print

Kim XO, lets you in on the latest fall fashion trends on Fashion Fridays on the Black Press Media Network

Feds launching review of oil tanker traffic in bid to renew pipeline approval

The feds have ordered the National Energy Board to bring recommendations on whether pipeline expansion should proceed

Horvat leads Canucks to 4-3 shootout victory over Kings

Vancouver dumps L.A. in NHL pre-season contest

Update: Search called off for missing plane between Edmonton and Chilliwack

Search efforts were concentrated along the Highway 5 corridor between Valemount and Kamloops

Why Whistler for ski jumping in 2026? Calgary proposal gets pushback

Calgary 2026 proposes re-using the 2010 ski jumping venue Whistler for that sport and nordic

Despite progress, threat of 232 tariffs dominates NAFTA negotiations

Any deal is seen to require congressional approval before Dec. 1 to survive new Mexican government

VIDEO: Hundreds line highway as family brings home body of B.C. teen

Northern B.C. showed their support by lining Hwy 16 as Jessica Patrick’s body returned to Smithers.

B.C. MP Todd Doherty receives award for saving man who collapsed on a plane

Conservative MP was flying from Vancouver to Prince George, B.C., in June last year

Alleged border jumper from Oregon facing 2 charges after police chase in B.C.

Colin Patrick Wilson charged with dangerous operation of motor vehicle, flight from a peace officer

Most Read